“You’re too pretty to be single.”
“What are you looking for in a guy?”
“Wow, who are you dressing up for?”
“If you’re too picky, you’re going to end up alone.”
These are some of the questions and statements that I hear, almost, on a daily basis. As a girl, trying to figure out her way in this crazy, crazy, world that we live in, these are the things that I shouldn’t be worrying about.
I work in a job where it requires me to be constantly talking to people, interacting with them, and having to make small talks. Believe it or not, those questions above are the questions that I get the most. You would think that people might think that maybe, you’re not living your life just so you could find a man to spend the rest of your life with.
Back when I was in high school, my world revolved around boys. I needed to wear clothes that boys found attractive. I needed to use makeup so I could be pretty for boys. I needed to laugh at their jokes and agreed with everything they were saying so they’d like me and find me agreeable. Although, I found that boys liked these things and I did get attention from them, I also found that I was not happy.
I didn’t always want to use makeup when I go out. I didn’t want to be dressed and dolled up all the time. Most of their jokes were NOT funny and now that I think of it, I probably didn’t agree with most of the things that they said.
I only dated most of the guys that I dated because my friends were in relationships and I didn’t want to be left out (I’m sorry for wasting your time, by the way). I thought that if I kep dating, I’ll eventually find happiness in it. I never did. It only caused me heart break, unwanted drama, and I’ve hurt those guys more than I care to say.
I just turned 22 recently and I’m no closer to finding a man that I can’t imagine living my life without. I haven’t found a man who’s willing to get to know me and take time to figure out what makes me sad, mad, and happy. Heck, out of all the guys that I’ve gone on dates with, only one of them has opened the car door for me. One.
I guess I should blame my parents for me being like this. Ever since my mom married my stepdad, I’ve always watched how he treated her. He always asks her what she wants to do. They always talk about important thing with each other before making a decision. They randomly dance in the kitchen when they think no one’s watching. Most importantly, I have never seen them fight. My parent’s marriage is an example of a relationship that I want someday and that’s why I’m so picky.
I don’t want to rush into relationships and end up failing. I don’t want to keep opening myself up to guys and have them not be the one. I don’t go out with my friends because I’m looking for a guy; I go out because I want to have fun. I don’t dress up so guys can think that I’m pretty; I dress up because I was raised to be a princess and honestly, I like to look my best because it makes me feel good.
I do not do the things that I do in order to satisfy men or for them to give me validation. I am not being picky because I’m a snob. Im picky because I don’t want to settle for less than what I deserve. I have dated enough guys to know what I want and what I don’t want.
Right now, I’m going to school and working and if I find a guy that I think is worth my time, I’ll go on a date then. If not, I’m happy being by myself. I will not and will never apologize for ignoring your messages, declining your date invites, and for not living my life solely for the purpose of finding a mate. So please, stop asking me why I’m single. I’m happy. That’s the most important thing to me.